Online Behaviour and Mental Health: Disinhibition, Confirmation Bias and Toxic Masculinity
In the digital age, the way we connect with others and with ourselves has changed dramatically. So much of our social, emotional and professional life now happens online. Whether it is messaging a friend, sharing a post, scrolling through news feeds or joining a counselling session via video, the screen has quietly become the space where we experience, express and often explore who we are.
But with this shift comes subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, challenges to our mental health.
In my work as an online counsellor, I have noticed three recurring forces that seem to create a toxic trio when combined. These can shape many of our digital experiences:
- Online disinhibition
- Confirmation bias
- Toxic masculinity
Online Disinhibition: Why We Behave Differently Behind Screens
Psychologist John Suler described how being online can lower our internal filters. The screen can act like a mask, offering more freedom but sometimes at the cost of thoughtfulness.
I explored this idea further in an article on online disinhibition in professional spaces, where I consider how reduced inhibition can also emerge within professional groups and online communities.
Some common features of the online disinhibition effect include:
- Anonymity and invisibility – feeling freer to speak without perceived consequence
- Reduced inhibition – sharing things we might never say in person
- Dissociative identity – feeling a disconnect between our online and offline selves
- Delayed communication – misreading tone or intent when replies are not instant
This can be seen demonstrated in many digital spaces such as social media, comment sections and news articles. While there are many thoughtful and balanced contributions online, there can also be negativity, criticism, prejudice, harassment and bullying.
When Clients Overshare Too Soon
It is not uncommon for clients in online therapy to share something deeply personal early on, before trust has had a chance to grow. While this can feel like relief in the moment, it sometimes leads to what might be described as a “vulnerability hangover” afterwards.
There is something about the distance of a screen that can offer the freedom to speak without thinking. When that screen is replaced by an email or a text message, this distance can increase further, allowing people to say things they might not have considered if they were meeting face to face.
As a counsellor, I have to be mindful of this when working with an individual to ensure that I am providing a safe and reassuring space.
When Counsellors Disinhibit Too
Counsellors also need to reflect on how we carry ourselves in online spaces. We often move between casual posts, professional discussions and private messages.
Professional Facebook groups, for example, can feel like safe and closed spaces. But are they really? Do all members share the same values, ethics and boundaries?
I sometimes think of Alfred Hitchcock’s film Rear Window. James Stewart’s character, stuck at home with an injury, spends his days looking through a camera lens at the windows of his neighbours. From these glimpses he begins to form narratives about their lives, stories they do not know are being told.
Digital spaces can be similar. They can act like an open window into our professional and personal selves. Even in a group that feels private, we cannot always be certain who is watching or how our words might be interpreted.
This awareness has changed how I post online. I now pause before responding to comments, particularly on emotionally charged topics such as politics. Sometimes I decide not to post at all because I cannot be certain how far the digital curtains are open.
Confirmation Bias: Why Algorithms Trap Us in Echo Chambers
Confirmation bias is our brain’s tendency to seek information that confirms what we already believe. In the digital world, algorithms often amplify this effect, filtering our feeds so that we see more of what we agree with and less of what might challenge us.
I have noticed my own feeds narrowing over time. The more I engage with certain ideas, the more similar content I am shown. It becomes easy to feel as though everyone thinks the same way that I do.
Outside our digital bubble, however, many other perspectives exist. These perspectives are just as meaningful and valid for the individuals who hold them.
Our beliefs are shaped by our life experiences, but they should also be tested and refined through exposure to different viewpoints. Algorithms do not encourage this. They tend to prioritise comfort and engagement.
To counter this, I try to seek out different perspectives, even when they challenge my own views. It helps keep my critical thinking active rather than allowing my beliefs to harden without question.
Toxic Masculinity in Digital Spaces
When toxic masculinity combines with disinhibition and confirmation bias, it can create online spaces where vulnerability is mocked or dismissed.
I have noticed the growth of digital communities promoting rigid ideas about what it means to be a “real man”. These spaces often prioritise dominance, success and control while discouraging emotional openness.
For men who feel lost or uncertain, these spaces can offer belonging and certainty. But they can also deepen emotional isolation.
Many of the phrases circulating in these spaces are familiar to those of us who grew up in previous generations: “get on with it”, “pull your socks up” or “cry and I will give you something to cry about”.
These ideas can discourage emotional expression and reinforce harmful stereotypes.
If we do not continue to explore and challenge these narratives, we risk creating a culture where emotional transparency feels dangerous and vulnerability invites ridicule.
When emotions are suppressed, relationships suffer, communication breaks down and mental health declines.
Digital Wellbeing: Five Gentle Steps to Rebalance
To maintain balance in the digital world, it can help to pause and reflect on how we engage with technology.
Notice your patterns
How does your online activity make you feel?
Set digital boundaries
Limit time online and mute content that drains your energy.
Challenge your beliefs
Actively explore viewpoints that stretch your thinking.
Reach out for support
Talk to a counsellor, a trusted friend or support services if needed.
Practise self-compassion
Remember that social media rarely reflects real life.
Final Thoughts
We cannot control the internet, but we can choose how we engage with it.
Becoming more aware of our digital behaviour allows us to make healthier choices, protect our wellbeing and create more thoughtful online spaces for ourselves and others.
References
Suler, J. (2004). The Online Disinhibition Effect. CyberPsychology and Behavior, 7(3), 321–326.
Nickerson, R. (1998). Confirmation Bias: A Ubiquitous Phenomenon in Many Guises. Review of General Psychology, 2(2), 175–220.
Sincerely Yours, Paul
Transparency notice:
This post was developed with the assistance of AI and carefully reviewed, edited and approved by the author.